You drew a name. It's someone from accounts you've spoken to maybe four times, mostly about the printer. The cap is $30, the exchange is in three weeks, and the gift has to be funny enough to get a laugh in front of everyone but not so funny that it gets forwarded to HR.
We've been the person in the gift aisle at 9pm on exchange eve. Here's the plan we wish we'd had: picks for each type of coworker, the wrapping trick that surprised us, and card lines you can copy.
The Secret Santa plan, at a glance
- Spend right up to the cap, not past it. Going over doesn't buy you more gratitude.
- Check for a wish list first. If there is one, use it. If there isn't, ask the organizer one question (script below).
- Pick something that gets used up or used daily. Desk clutter goes home in a bag and into a drawer.
- Run the HR test on anything funny. Three questions, ten seconds.
- Match the joke to the person. Find their type in the list below.
- Wrap it neatly. For a coworker, neat beats charming. There's a study.
- Write one line on the tag. It's what they'll remember.
Why you don't need to go over the cap
Everyone has a coworker who blows past the $30 limit with a $60 gift and makes the rest of the room look cheap. Don't be that person, and don't worry about being outdone by them.
Stanford researchers Frank Flynn and Gabrielle Adams ran three studies on gift price and gratitude, from engagement rings to birthday gifts to a CD versus an iPod. Every time, givers expected pricier gifts to be appreciated more. Every time, the people receiving them didn't feel any more grateful. The researchers estimate a giver might spend $100 on something the recipient would only pay $80 for. That extra $20 buys nothing.
So a $28 gift that makes someone laugh beats a $45 gift that makes them feel like they owe you. Stay at or just under the cap.
Use the wish list, and ask if there isn't one
This one feels wrong but holds up. In five experiments by Francesca Gino and Frank Flynn, people appreciated gifts they had asked for more than surprise picks, and rated them as more thoughtful. The givers in those studies guessed the opposite. They assumed going off list looked more caring.
If your office does wish lists, buy from it and add the joke in the card. If it doesn't, message the organizer:
"Quick Santa question about my person. Coffee or tea? Bath or shower? Do they swear at their screen, or are they more of a sigh person?"
Those three answers tell you almost everything you need for the list below.
The 10-second HR test for funny gifts
Before you buy anything with a joke on it, ask:
- Could I hand it over with the boss watching? If you'd hesitate, pick the tamer version.
- Is the joke about work, or about them? Deadlines, inboxes and meetings are fair game. Bodies, weight, age, hygiene, dating and politics are not. Ever.
- Did they swear first? Sweary gifts only go to people you've heard swear at work. You're matching their energy, not introducing it.
Funny Secret Santa gifts by coworker type
The one who's always on deadline
They eat lunch at their keyboard and say "just one more email" at 6:40pm. Give them a reason to log off. Our Coworker Survival shower steamers come in a box that says "Leave Work in the Steam," twelve steamers in six scents like coconut, grapefruit and eucalyptus menthol, for under $30. You drop one on the shower floor away from the direct spray, and the scent rises with the steam for a few minutes. If you've never tried one, here's how shower steamers work.
The one who swears at their screen
Only if they passed the HR test above. For the shower person, Steam the F*ck Out is twelve steamers in a box that gets a laugh the second the paper comes off. For the bath person, Drop The F-Bomb is five bath bombs with the same sense of humor, under $25. Both are the kind of gift that gets stolen in a white elephant round, which is the highest compliment the office can pay.
The dry humor desk neighbor
The one who mutters something perfect under their breath during the all hands. A daily flip calendar is the safest funny gift there is because it works in any office. Our Funny Wisecracks and Wisdom Calendar has 366 jokes and one-liners, isn't tied to a year, and stays on the desk long after the party. Under $25, so you can add a snack and still land under the cap.
The one on video calls all day
A set of webcam covers in a design they like (cats, plants, whatever is on their mug) is cheap, useful and a good running joke for the team. They're usually under $10, so pair them with their favorite coffee or a good bar of chocolate to reach the cap.
The organizer who holds the whole team together
They book the rooms, remember birthdays and probably organized this Secret Santa. A set of nice pens with a cheeky title on them, or a "chaos coordinator" mug, gives them credit with a wink. Add a handwritten line about something specific they did this year.
The new person you barely know
Keep it neutral and consumable. A gift card to the coffee place closest to the office, tucked into a card, plus a small bag of good snacks. Nobody has ever been offended by free coffee.
The remote coworker
Order straight to their address and pick something flat and light. Calendars and pens post easily; steamers come in a sturdy box.
Wrap it neatly (yes, really)
Here's the surprising one. In a 2019 study in the Journal of Consumer Psychology, researchers found that sloppy wrapping usually helps. In one experiment, 180 students given a mug liked it more when it was wrapped badly, because messy paper lowers expectations and the gift then beats them.
But in a third experiment, 261 adults imagined a secret gift exchange. When the gift came from a close friend, sloppy wrapping won again. When it came from an acquaintance, people preferred neat wrapping. The researchers think neat wrapping signals that the giver values the relationship.
Most Secret Santa pairs are acquaintances. So for work, use real paper, square corners, tape on the inside and a proper tag. Save the newspaper and duct tape job for your best friend.
Card lines you can copy
- "For the next time someone says 'quick call.'"
- "You survived another year of reply all. This is your reward."
- "Log off. Shower. Repeat as needed."
- "To the person who knows where the good stapler is. Thank you for your service."
- "No reply needed. Seriously. Not even a thumbs up."
What to skip
- Anything about their body or habits. Diet books, gym gear, deodorant jokes. It doesn't matter how close you think you are.
- Alcohol, unless you know they drink and your office allows it. Plenty of people don't.
- Another mug with nothing in it. If it's a mug, fill it.
- Strong scents for someone who's pregnant, has asthma or is sensitive to fragrance. Choose the calendar or the coffee card instead. The same goes for bath products if you know they have a skin condition.
If you're out of time
It's the night before and you've got nothing. Buy a coffee gift card online, print it, fold it into a card, and write one of the lines above. Wrap a chocolate bar with it so there's something to unwrap. Ten minutes, done.
If you're also buying for family this year, our guide to what to get a mom who says she needs nothing uses the same idea: give a break, not more stuff. And if your coworker is having a rough stretch, send them our 20-minute bad day reset along with the gift.
Quick answers
What is a good funny Secret Santa gift for a coworker?
Something funny about work, not about the person, that gets used up or used every day. Funny desk calendars, shower steamers with a work joke on the box, and snacks in a filled mug all go over well and stay under $30.
How much should I spend on Secret Santa at work?
Spend up to the agreed cap and stop there. Research from Stanford found that people don't feel more grateful for pricier gifts, even though givers expect them to.
Is a sweary gift OK for the office?
Only for a coworker you've heard swear at work, and only if you'd be fine handing it over in front of your manager. If you're unsure, pick a clean funny gift instead.
What's a good Secret Santa gift for someone you don't know?
A coffee gift card for the nearest café plus a small treat, wrapped neatly. It's useful, neutral and nobody has to pretend to like it.
Sources
- Flynn FJ, Adams GS. Money can't buy love: Asymmetric beliefs about gift price and feelings of appreciation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2009. Summary from Stanford GSB.
- Gino F, Flynn FJ. Five experiments on requested versus unrequested gifts. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 2011. Summary from Stanford GSB.
- Rixom JM, Mas EM, Rixom BA. Wrapping neatness and gift attitudes. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 2019 (doi 10.1002/jcpy.1140). Explained by co-author Erick Mas in The Conversation.
